humorous-blog

br0lan:

my coworker just told me about a kid he knew in second grade that was really allergic to peanuts but one day during lunch he said that he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to know what reeses taste like so he pulled out his epipen, ate the reese cup then stabbed himself with the epipen and told the teacher to call the hospital and that kid is the most hardcore kid I’ve ever heard of I wanna be his friend 

mis-takenchance
  1. Go to a party and stay sober. Listen to the way your drunk classmates talk when they don’t plan to remember tonight when they wake up. Never talk about these experiences, just keep them for yourself.
  2. Start driving in one direction on the highway after school one day, pretending like you’re running away. Blast bad pop music and sing along. Stop in the suburbs when your mom calls you to come home, but buy your little brother a cupcake before you turn back around.
  3. Kiss your best friend. It doesn’t matter what sexuality or gender you are or they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or you escalate to tongue. You’ll laugh about it later, but it will always make you smile just for the memory.
  4. Smoke a cigarette. Let it burn your throat. Cough, loudly.
  5. Take a stand for something you believe in. When half your school laughs at you, take it with pride. Someone agrees, even if they’re too scared to say so.
  6. Make enemies. Make the kind of mistakes that cause your life to implode. Lose everyone and everything to these mistakes. Only when you fall will you find out that you can pick yourself back up.
  7. Sit on someone’s roof and talk for hours. Forget about dinner and tell your origin stories. Let your guard down while the dog barks below. Talk about god. Listen.
  8. Steal Bourbon from your parents’ liquor cabinet and put it in a water bottle beneath your bathroom sink. Spike your tea with it when you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Pour the whole thing down the drain when it’s too strong for you.
  9. Become a stereotype. Buy a record player and combat boots. Wear all black. Dye your hair bright blue and get your ear pierced three times. Don’t care when people laugh at you.
  10. Make wishes at 11:11. Wear your pajamas backwards in the hopes of a snow day. Look for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Pretend writing things on your arms makes you special. Believe in anything. Believe in everything. Open every book and look around every corner. You’ll never look like this or move like this or think like this again. Enjoy it while it lasts or hate every second. But feel. Feel every damn thing.
Top Ten Things to do Before You Graduate High School by M.S. (via sestinalia)
thenight-can-bedeadly

pregnantmales:

why wasnt i a part of this

IM STILL LAUGHING OVER THIS IT’S BEEN A DAY

what is this even from

THE PINK ONE IS SO INTO IT

WHAT IS THI S OMFG

but the real question is where can i watch this

this post gets me through everything

I 100% laughed out loud and woke up my cats.

oh come one that blue ones not even tryign

the orange one isn’t even doing it right

the brown one before the pink one on the left omg I am crying

daughterofsmokeandbonetrilogy

daughterofsmokeandbonetrilogy:

This is the first line you’ll read in Daughter of Smoke & Boneand you won’t stop until you get to the last.

From National Book Award Finalist Laini Taylor comes the New York Times bestselling trilogy about forbidden love, an ancient and epic battle, and hope for a world remade. 

Entertainment Weekly says it’s “thrillingly fresh and new,” and Wired calls it “the next Next Big Thing”, but start reading and see for yourself: Amazon | B&N | Indiebound

Read this.

lunokii

Missed the Eclipse?

rocketsandorscience:

Don’t worry! Here’s a list of all the total lunar eclipses coming in the next 20 years!

  • Oct. 8, 2014
  • Apr. 4, 2015
  • Sep. 25, 2015
  • Jan. 31, 2018
  • Jul. 27, 2018
  • Jan. 21, 2019
  • May 26, 2021
  • May 16, 2022
  • Nov. 8, 2022
  • Mar. 14, 2025
  • Sep. 7, 2025
  • Mar. 3, 2026
  • Dec. 31, 2028
  • Jun. 26, 2029
  • Dec. 20, 2029
  • Apr. 25, 2032
  • Oct. 18, 2032
  • Apr. 14, 2033
  • Oct. 8, 2033

yes.